Top 10 Funniest Job Titles

Anyone who is currently job searching will no doubt have spent hours trawling through online job sites. After a while it becomes an extremely repetitive, boring but still necessary task. So if you’ve spent your week doing just that, ( or even if you haven’t!) here’s something to lighten the mood. We have put together our Top 10 Funniest Job Titles ever . Just picture the business cards these people have , or the explanations they have to go into when someone asks, “ What do you do for a living?”. So, in no particular order….

Director of First Impressions

Otherwise known as the Receptionist. This job title was originally created to reflect how critical the role of the front desk employee has in the overall branding and marketing of the company.

Visual Clearance Engineer

Sounds rather fanciful doesn’t it? Well, this job is probably better known to you and I as the good old fashioned Window Cleaner. Lucky for George Formby, the title wasn’t around when he was playing his ukulele and singing “When I’m cleaning windows..”

Professional Zombie

The tourist attraction London Bridge Experience advertised for Professional Zombies last year. Duties included dressing in full zombie make-up and spending the day terrifying tourists. Imagine getting paid to scare people! Brilliant!

Last Putter-Away

No, it’s not golf related , nor is it someone obsessed with tidying things. This job entails sorting and storing shoe molds into storage bins and racks.

Chief Happiness Officer 

This role is usually done on a consultancy basis with the main purpose being to improve how companies work and help staff enjoy their jobs more. The most famous Chief Happiness Officer we probably all know is none other than Ronald McDonald.

Chatter Monkey 

Social media and marketing has spawned countless fancy job titles – guru, evangelist to name but a few. Our favourite though is the Chatter Monkey. Getting paid to do “PR” stuff on Facebook and Twitter all day…

Canine Relocation Specialist 

More common in the US than in the UK , this job entails trawling the streets , picking up stray dogs. Yep – it’s a Dog Catcher.

Chief Story Teller

No, not another William Shakespeare nor the parent who reads the bedtime stories to the kids, this job is all about marketing and branding. In essence it is all about helping a brand tell its’ story.

Marketing Ninja 

Think ninja and of course martial arts and espionage comes to mind. Not any more. the last few years has seen Ninja becoming one of the most popular “trendy” new titles with Linkedin reporting increasing numbers of Ninjas being profiled on their site. So, it’s simply a Marketing expert.  To me though it conjures up images of someone going around, dressed in black and secretly performing marketing tasks for businesses. Now that would be a good job!

E.I.E.I.O. 

This one may be an urban myth, but it made us laugh anyway. Often public sector organisations in particular employ AOs ( Admin Officers), EOs ( Executive Officers ) and IOs ( Information Officers).  Career progression then allows for AIOs ( Admin Information Officers) and EAOs ( Executive Information Officers ) etc. Well.. we once heard of someone who had gone for an internal promotion and would have ended up being the E.I.E.I.O. …

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Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving holiday!

Being Politically Correct: Follow the Golden Rule

Ever have one of those moments where you’re glad your colleagues can’t hear your inner voice? Not every moment in HR is politically correct. Today is a good day to think about the importance of using politically correct language in the workplace. With the presidential election taking place yesterday we have all been bombarded with various opinions and political messages from family, friends and maybe even co-workers – some of which may have sparked some heated discussion. We would all benefit from using language that is politically correct in the workplace at all times.

Remaining politically correct, or PC, means to avoid using vocabulary that is offensive, discriminatory, or judgmental, especially concerning race, gender, age, disability, occupation, culture, religion, and beliefs or ideologies (politics). Using language that is politically incorrect at the office can cause unnecessary conflict, hurt feelings, and is just unproductive. 

Language is important and words can have lasting effects. If you’ve ever seen the TV show The Office, you’ve seen the faces of the characters and how they are frequently not amused. These are expressions you have probably seen on co-workers faces after an insensitive remark was passed along. It’s important to remember that people come from different backgrounds and we don’t all share the same beliefs. Just because a certain statement doesn’t offend you, that does not mean that it doesn’t offend someone else. 

I try to follow the golden rules my mom taught me, “treat others how you want to be treated,” and “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” If you remain courteous and respectful of your coworkers, the fear of being politically incorrect should not be something you have to worry about. 

In closing, I’ll leave you with a little HR Humor regarding PC. 

The Politically Correct Glossary of Terms:

• Please note that you should not describe an employee as ‘lazy.’ The person concerned should be referred to as ‘motivationally deficient.’

• Someone does not ‘fail,’ they ‘achieve a deficiency.’

• Colleagues are not ‘dishonest,’ they are ‘ethically disoriented.’

• Please do not use the word ‘wrong,’ instead use ‘ethically disoriented.'

• Instead of using ‘ugly,’ try saying ‘cosmetically different.’

• For ‘unemployed,’ say ‘involuntarily leisured.’

Also…

• Dead = living impaired

• Miser = negative saver

• Ignorant = knowledge based non-possessor

• Unsophisticated = socially malformed

Office Gossip and Corporate Culture: Dealing with the Rumor Mill

Though I have not worked at many organizations throughout my short career, I feel pretty confident in saying that most organizations deal with gossip on a weekly basis. What I mean by gossip is talking about a someone or a situation with somebody who is neither a part of the solution or a part of the problem. It’s human nature to go complain about someone/something to a third party instead of addressing the issue with the source. I work for a company that is currently going through a culture change where we are encouraged to provide feedback on performance and maintain  an open line of communication with our co-workers, and I can say from this experience that it is not an easy thing to change. It’s much easier to keep your frustrations to yourself or go and vent to a co-worker versus taking the initiative to go to the person directly about the situation or provide constructive feedback on how you can work together better in the future. Talking to someone else about the issue won’t resolve it, it’s just indulgent behavior at someone else’s expense. 

Finding a way to curtail gossip within your organization is extremely important. A solid organization should be filled with leaders that encourage the building of relationships through displaying consistent character and making good decisions every day. This will create a bond of trust and help those on your team succeed. Allowing gossip to take place does none of these things. Gossip destroys trust, assails credibility, and is one of the greatest opponents of a healthy corporate culture.

I recently attended a culturetrack training workshop based on the book Change the Culture, Change the Game. The focus of the training was encouraging our organization to create a culture that embraces accountability, fosters open communication and encourages focused feedback with our peers and leaders. There is nothing wrong with having open discussion and communication within the organization. In fact, it’s a positive. Communication can be good-natured, inspiring, impassioned, productive, healthy, educational, informational, effective, etc. We discussed in the training that most organizations have a history which comes with folklore and legend. Every culture has stories to be told, company “heroes” that become legend, company “villains” that are chastened, and a variety of characters to be acknowledged and talked about throughout the years. The key is to pay attention to the intention behind the communication – is it meant to help or hurt, to advance or undermine, to build up or tear down? Gossip is not to be confused with other forms of communication – they are not one in the same.

To sum it up, usually a simple conversation with the person directly involved is all that is needed to solve the problem at hand. Though curtailing gossip can be somewhat awkward, when an organization sets cultural norms that embrace direct communication and core values of respect, it’s easy to refer to the company values and agree that gossip is unacceptable without sounding like the moral police. Next time a person comes to you to gossip about a co-worker, try asking the person, “What did he/she say when you talked to them about XYZ?”  It is important to foster an environment where employees first address issues with each other directly instead of defaulting to complaining to someone else.

What You Wish You'd Known Before Your Job Interview [Info-graphic]

Happy Monday! Please excuse my lack of blog posts last week. I was busy moving houses and did not have much extra time outside of work for the blog. Hopefully things will be much more exciting around here this week!

Today I want to share an interesting info-graphic I stumbled upon last week. I thought this information was interesting because most of the time people prepare for the obvious things such as having an up-to-date resume and understanding the position that you're applying with when preparing for an interview.

This info-graphic shows common non-verbal mistakes that are made during an interview. This is great information to pay attention to and remember when preparing for the big meeting! Being prepared is more important than ever in today's competitive job market, and will ensure that you stand out among the pool of qualified applicants. 
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Thursday HR Humor: Meet the Dumbest Job Interview Applicants

Human resource pros share the worst things they've seen,from real candidates trying to get hired. Here's what not to do wheninterviewing for a job:  

 

Spammed a prospective employer.

"Applicant put up posters ofhimself in the company parking lot."
-Anonymous HR professional

Ordered in lunch.

"Applicant delivered prepaid Chinese food, including afortune cookie with his name and phone number."
-Anonymous HR professional

Was just weird.

"A job applicant came in for aninterview with a cockatoo on his shoulder." (no birds on your shoulderunless you're Cee-Lo Green!)
-Source: Robert Half Technology

 Took the edge off...with a drink.

"I swear this is true: Someone threw his beer can inthe outside trash can before coming into the reception area."
-Anonymous HR professional

Gave morethan a handshake.

"Someone applying for a job hugged me at the end of theinterview."
-Anonymous HR professional

Called in an understudy.

"The candidate sent his sister to interview in hisplace."
-Source: Robert Half Technology

Wore the wrong outfit.

"The candidate arrived in a cat-suit."
-Source: Robert Half Technology

Read the directions wrong.

"We ask prospective job applicants at our business tofill out a questionnaire. For the line 'Choose one word to summarize yourstrongest professional attribute,' one woman wrote, 'I'm very good at followinginstructions.'"
-Anonymous HR professional

Got too creative.

"Applicant announced hiscandidacy with a singing telegram."
- Anonymous HR professional

Grossed out the interviewer.

"Someone once blew her nose andlined up the used tissues on the table in front of her."
-Anonymous HR professional

Thought he was larger than life.

"Applicant rented a billboard,which the hiring manager could see from his office, listing hisqualifications."
- Anonymous HR professional

Misunderstood the work.

"An individual applied for a customer-service job, andwhen asked what he might not like about the job, he said, 'Dealing withpeople.'"
-Source: Robert Half Technology

Brought a sidekick. Who wasn't patient.

"Once an applicant's friend came in and asked, 'Howmuch longer?'"
-Anonymous HR professional

Didn't bother with research.

"It's amazing when people come in for an interview andsay, 'Can you tell me about your business?' Seriously, people. There’s anInternet. Look it up."
-HR professional in New York City

Listed all experiences...relevant ornot.

"I had somebody list their prison time as a job. And anexotic dancer who called herself a 'customer service representative.'" 

-Sharlyn Lauby, human resources consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL

Came hungry.

"I had someone eat all the candy from the candy bowlwhile trying to answer questions."
-Anonymous HR professional

Hey: TMI, people.

"A guy once talked during theinterview about how an affair cost him a previous job."
-Anonymous HR professional

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