Top 10 Funniest Job Titles

Anyone who is currently job searching will no doubt have spent hours trawling through online job sites. After a while it becomes an extremely repetitive, boring but still necessary task. So if you’ve spent your week doing just that, ( or even if you haven’t!) here’s something to lighten the mood. We have put together our Top 10 Funniest Job Titles ever . Just picture the business cards these people have , or the explanations they have to go into when someone asks, “ What do you do for a living?”. So, in no particular order….

Director of First Impressions

Otherwise known as the Receptionist. This job title was originally created to reflect how critical the role of the front desk employee has in the overall branding and marketing of the company.

Visual Clearance Engineer

Sounds rather fanciful doesn’t it? Well, this job is probably better known to you and I as the good old fashioned Window Cleaner. Lucky for George Formby, the title wasn’t around when he was playing his ukulele and singing “When I’m cleaning windows..”

Professional Zombie

The tourist attraction London Bridge Experience advertised for Professional Zombies last year. Duties included dressing in full zombie make-up and spending the day terrifying tourists. Imagine getting paid to scare people! Brilliant!

Last Putter-Away

No, it’s not golf related , nor is it someone obsessed with tidying things. This job entails sorting and storing shoe molds into storage bins and racks.

Chief Happiness Officer 

This role is usually done on a consultancy basis with the main purpose being to improve how companies work and help staff enjoy their jobs more. The most famous Chief Happiness Officer we probably all know is none other than Ronald McDonald.

Chatter Monkey 

Social media and marketing has spawned countless fancy job titles – guru, evangelist to name but a few. Our favourite though is the Chatter Monkey. Getting paid to do “PR” stuff on Facebook and Twitter all day…

Canine Relocation Specialist 

More common in the US than in the UK , this job entails trawling the streets , picking up stray dogs. Yep – it’s a Dog Catcher.

Chief Story Teller

No, not another William Shakespeare nor the parent who reads the bedtime stories to the kids, this job is all about marketing and branding. In essence it is all about helping a brand tell its’ story.

Marketing Ninja 

Think ninja and of course martial arts and espionage comes to mind. Not any more. the last few years has seen Ninja becoming one of the most popular “trendy” new titles with Linkedin reporting increasing numbers of Ninjas being profiled on their site. So, it’s simply a Marketing expert.  To me though it conjures up images of someone going around, dressed in black and secretly performing marketing tasks for businesses. Now that would be a good job!

E.I.E.I.O. 

This one may be an urban myth, but it made us laugh anyway. Often public sector organisations in particular employ AOs ( Admin Officers), EOs ( Executive Officers ) and IOs ( Information Officers).  Career progression then allows for AIOs ( Admin Information Officers) and EAOs ( Executive Information Officers ) etc. Well.. we once heard of someone who had gone for an internal promotion and would have ended up being the E.I.E.I.O. …

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Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving holiday!

Being Politically Correct: Follow the Golden Rule

Ever have one of those moments where you’re glad your colleagues can’t hear your inner voice? Not every moment in HR is politically correct. Today is a good day to think about the importance of using politically correct language in the workplace. With the presidential election taking place yesterday we have all been bombarded with various opinions and political messages from family, friends and maybe even co-workers – some of which may have sparked some heated discussion. We would all benefit from using language that is politically correct in the workplace at all times.

Remaining politically correct, or PC, means to avoid using vocabulary that is offensive, discriminatory, or judgmental, especially concerning race, gender, age, disability, occupation, culture, religion, and beliefs or ideologies (politics). Using language that is politically incorrect at the office can cause unnecessary conflict, hurt feelings, and is just unproductive. 

Language is important and words can have lasting effects. If you’ve ever seen the TV show The Office, you’ve seen the faces of the characters and how they are frequently not amused. These are expressions you have probably seen on co-workers faces after an insensitive remark was passed along. It’s important to remember that people come from different backgrounds and we don’t all share the same beliefs. Just because a certain statement doesn’t offend you, that does not mean that it doesn’t offend someone else. 

I try to follow the golden rules my mom taught me, “treat others how you want to be treated,” and “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” If you remain courteous and respectful of your coworkers, the fear of being politically incorrect should not be something you have to worry about. 

In closing, I’ll leave you with a little HR Humor regarding PC. 

The Politically Correct Glossary of Terms:

• Please note that you should not describe an employee as ‘lazy.’ The person concerned should be referred to as ‘motivationally deficient.’

• Someone does not ‘fail,’ they ‘achieve a deficiency.’

• Colleagues are not ‘dishonest,’ they are ‘ethically disoriented.’

• Please do not use the word ‘wrong,’ instead use ‘ethically disoriented.'

• Instead of using ‘ugly,’ try saying ‘cosmetically different.’

• For ‘unemployed,’ say ‘involuntarily leisured.’

Also…

• Dead = living impaired

• Miser = negative saver

• Ignorant = knowledge based non-possessor

• Unsophisticated = socially malformed